Keep moving on

I really shouldn't be disappointed. But for so long this his has been happening, and I'm not a saint, I can't keep believing and hoping that I'll be significant enough to someone when I can't even promise that I'll still be breathing tomorrow. It's just so hard to keep pretending like I don't care when honestly it rips a whole in my heart.

But what can I do? I'll just keep on holding to Atika's words, that actual friends, those who deserve that be called that term, will make an effort to be in your life if they really care about you. I can't be the only one making all the effort. I self disclose so much the point that there's nothing that others don't know about me, in the effort to be cared about by someone. And for 18 years, that has been failing and I keep picking myself up and moving on. So many times I've picked myself up, hoping that someone would be there next to me, cheering me on as I struggle to stand up again.

Always. Waiting.