Assalamualaikum!
Yay finally I have the time to update my blog! I've been really busy with school projects and stuff and coming home really tired so I didn't have the time to update. This sem's modules are really time consuming, especially Programme Planning. A lot of the other modules also require us to go down to some centres to find out more info about them, so there goes my spare time.
There was no school today because it was SHS' Graduation ceremony but I volunteered to be a helper so I had to come over. I had a group project in the morning too at the library. But thankfully our work as the ushers was super slack and it only lasted for a few hours. So we got to go home early! Yay! But of course, we didn't forget to take loaaads of pictures while we're in our formal wear and fool around for a while :D
Taking a break for a bit before I start to study. My new phone is coming tonight (YAY) so I have to transfer the songs from the application in my iPhone to my laptop so I can transfer them to the new phone. I didn't realize I had THIS much songs in my phone until I had to re-download the whole lot again! I categorize my songs into folders, according to the artist so most of it is hidden. The ones not inside folders are usually english songs and other random songs sung by artists whose other songs I didn't like. And I have this tendency to just download the whole freaking album instead of just one song so... I ended up having to go through everything and choosing the song that I like. So troublesome... But on the other hand, new phone! Yay!
Life has been really busy lately so I didn't have time to think through things that's been happening.. Starting to get my study groove back since ICAs are really near already and I need to study.
My elder sister is going to Europe (I think) so my parents decided to go on a holiday during the June Holidays before she leaves.. Initially they wanted to go to Genting but then it's holiday season and the place will be super packed..
So we decided on Bandung, Indonesia! THE SHOPPING HEAVEN!!!! I loveeee it there since it's quite cold and the clothes there are to my liking (long sleeved blouses) so yeah! We'll be going there!! YAHOO!!
Alrighty I don't think I have anything else to write about. Shall end the post here. Bye!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sick!!
Assalamualaikum!
Today... Sucked. Woke up with my throat feeling like it was shredded by a paper shredder, runny nose.. I was really contemplating not to go to school but I forced myself to go cos Tuesdays are very long and I'll be missing out on a lot of modules. So yes I went to school.
But in school....... I was a living zombie. Started to get feverish, slept through Research Module lecture, slept for an hour during break, zoned out during tutorial.. When my friends finally forced me to go back home =_= And the weather really didn't help, it was raining gorillas and elephants and the buses had their aircon blasted and I WAS SUFFERING.
And it really didn't help that while I was waiting for the bus, people left and right were smoking nonstop. And the fact that bus 88 came so late..
So I stopped by the clinic to get MC and meds, and doctor was really speaking so fast until I gave up on trying to figure out what she was saying. She was talking like she memorized everything and was just vomiting everything out! Especially when she started listing out all the food I shouldn't eat. I had to stifle a laugh when she told me not to exercise in the next 7 days because, since when did I ever exercise anyway haha!
After that I went home, forced myself to eat some porridge and the meds, and collapsed onto the sofa and slept the whole day. I managed to sweat the fever off which was good lah but I still feel weak. No appetite. It's so random how I fell sick =_= It's been so long since I got sick until the clinic had to make a new card for me haha
Ah okay my back is aching I need to sleep early. Good night!
Today... Sucked. Woke up with my throat feeling like it was shredded by a paper shredder, runny nose.. I was really contemplating not to go to school but I forced myself to go cos Tuesdays are very long and I'll be missing out on a lot of modules. So yes I went to school.
But in school....... I was a living zombie. Started to get feverish, slept through Research Module lecture, slept for an hour during break, zoned out during tutorial.. When my friends finally forced me to go back home =_= And the weather really didn't help, it was raining gorillas and elephants and the buses had their aircon blasted and I WAS SUFFERING.
And it really didn't help that while I was waiting for the bus, people left and right were smoking nonstop. And the fact that bus 88 came so late..
So I stopped by the clinic to get MC and meds, and doctor was really speaking so fast until I gave up on trying to figure out what she was saying. She was talking like she memorized everything and was just vomiting everything out! Especially when she started listing out all the food I shouldn't eat. I had to stifle a laugh when she told me not to exercise in the next 7 days because, since when did I ever exercise anyway haha!
After that I went home, forced myself to eat some porridge and the meds, and collapsed onto the sofa and slept the whole day. I managed to sweat the fever off which was good lah but I still feel weak. No appetite. It's so random how I fell sick =_= It's been so long since I got sick until the clinic had to make a new card for me haha
Ah okay my back is aching I need to sleep early. Good night!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Messy post!
Just a short post, to clear my thoughts. I shall write for as long as my laptop battery can take it so bear with me if my post suddenly ends abruptly.
I went cycling today! Okay, not so much of cycling because me and some 4 other friends ended up taking the family bicycle and fooling around with it and I ended up not cycling and just relaxing at the back, enjoying the breeze.
What I really want to talk about now is.. about myself. On the bus ride back home, the topic was suddenly on us ourselves and of course, friends. We were talking about how we felt totally in sync with our classmates and how we felt more close to them compared to our Secondary school friends.. About (my personal favourite) friendship vs acquaintanceship.
They kept saying that my personality is.. mother-like. Then I kept thinking, HOW ON EARTH AM I MOTHER-LIKE? I kept thinking and thinking about my actions, why people think of it as mother-like. I personally don't think I am. I'm still in the process of getting to know myself and clearing out my values and opinions and yes, I'm still shaping my identity. But being mother-like? The closest thing that I can think of about myself that's somewhere near mother-like is the fact that I like to keep a lookout for others. And that's it. Since I'm quite independent (learned how to be at a very young age. Shall elaborate later), I have no need to rely on others, I give more attention to others instead of myself. I don't know how that makes sense haha!
I care about others but I don't think I make it very obvious. I have a habit of nagging, but I nag only when it's necessary but other than that, I'm not uptight about things. I like to be in control of my life so I'm very clear about things that are important and unimportant.
I don't bother participating in things that I know is bound to hurt me or is of no use to me. For example, socializing. I don't understand the need to socialize when the friends that you make at that time won't last. I'd rather focus on forging relationships that I intend to keep for the rest of life instead of wasting my time on relationships that are bound to.. disappear.
And one very important thing about me is that even though I dislike participating in things (especially those that require leadership), once I start on something, I GO ALL OUT. I don't look back, I don't regret, I push forward, no matter how much I hate it. For example, as much as I hated Cyber Awareness, I gave my ALL for that GSM. I forced myself to like it. Even though I actually hate it. Haha!
But the thing is... I tend to lose my way sometimes. I was reflecting and I realize that my ideal husband would be someone who knows me well, about my values and beliefs, and can get me back on track whenever I lose my way. Remind me of my values and why I'm here in the first place. Someone to encourage me, because it's draining, having to encourage yourself.
Ah this post is starting to get messy but I need to get it out of my head.
About the me being independent thing. I've always been like that, I find no need in relying on someone. I've always been picking myself up, since god knows when. I never relied on my parents for anything besides financial support. Whenever I feel hurt or lost, I take a while to think through things and clear my head and end up with a conclusion by myself, no help from others. I don't feel attached to anyone. And I wonder is it because throughout my life, no one has ever offered their shoulder for me? But that's slowly ending because my poly classmates are seriously changing me in a way that I'm experiencing things that I've never experienced before, like the feeling of receiving support from a friend. And that.. really made an impact on me.
I don't know if being too self-reliant is a good thing or a bad thing. I don't show to other people my problems (but I write them down here if I manage to think through it). Is it.. healthy? Hahaha!
OMG THIS POST IS SO MESSY I DON'T THINK I MANAGED TO CLEAR MY HEAD
One more thing about myself! I take a lot after my father, I realized. Like him, I don't rely on others (especially emotionally), I'm impatient. But what sets me different from him is that, since I'm a girl, my.. motherly instincts kick in a lot.
OKAY I THINK I SOLVED SOMETHING!! About being mother-like!!
Is it because I like to take care of others? I do admit I treat my friends a bit like my children in the sense like I look out for them, make sure that they're alright... Stuff like that? Okay that's not a strong enough reason haha nvm I shall ask people tmr about why they think I'm motherlike.
Okay enough, I need to pack for school. Still haven't been in the study mood. But.. time is running out I realized haha so I better get back to study mode ASAP.
Alrighty. Good night!
I went cycling today! Okay, not so much of cycling because me and some 4 other friends ended up taking the family bicycle and fooling around with it and I ended up not cycling and just relaxing at the back, enjoying the breeze.
What I really want to talk about now is.. about myself. On the bus ride back home, the topic was suddenly on us ourselves and of course, friends. We were talking about how we felt totally in sync with our classmates and how we felt more close to them compared to our Secondary school friends.. About (my personal favourite) friendship vs acquaintanceship.
They kept saying that my personality is.. mother-like. Then I kept thinking, HOW ON EARTH AM I MOTHER-LIKE? I kept thinking and thinking about my actions, why people think of it as mother-like. I personally don't think I am. I'm still in the process of getting to know myself and clearing out my values and opinions and yes, I'm still shaping my identity. But being mother-like? The closest thing that I can think of about myself that's somewhere near mother-like is the fact that I like to keep a lookout for others. And that's it. Since I'm quite independent (learned how to be at a very young age. Shall elaborate later), I have no need to rely on others, I give more attention to others instead of myself. I don't know how that makes sense haha!
I care about others but I don't think I make it very obvious. I have a habit of nagging, but I nag only when it's necessary but other than that, I'm not uptight about things. I like to be in control of my life so I'm very clear about things that are important and unimportant.
I don't bother participating in things that I know is bound to hurt me or is of no use to me. For example, socializing. I don't understand the need to socialize when the friends that you make at that time won't last. I'd rather focus on forging relationships that I intend to keep for the rest of life instead of wasting my time on relationships that are bound to.. disappear.
And one very important thing about me is that even though I dislike participating in things (especially those that require leadership), once I start on something, I GO ALL OUT. I don't look back, I don't regret, I push forward, no matter how much I hate it. For example, as much as I hated Cyber Awareness, I gave my ALL for that GSM. I forced myself to like it. Even though I actually hate it. Haha!
But the thing is... I tend to lose my way sometimes. I was reflecting and I realize that my ideal husband would be someone who knows me well, about my values and beliefs, and can get me back on track whenever I lose my way. Remind me of my values and why I'm here in the first place. Someone to encourage me, because it's draining, having to encourage yourself.
Ah this post is starting to get messy but I need to get it out of my head.
About the me being independent thing. I've always been like that, I find no need in relying on someone. I've always been picking myself up, since god knows when. I never relied on my parents for anything besides financial support. Whenever I feel hurt or lost, I take a while to think through things and clear my head and end up with a conclusion by myself, no help from others. I don't feel attached to anyone. And I wonder is it because throughout my life, no one has ever offered their shoulder for me? But that's slowly ending because my poly classmates are seriously changing me in a way that I'm experiencing things that I've never experienced before, like the feeling of receiving support from a friend. And that.. really made an impact on me.
I don't know if being too self-reliant is a good thing or a bad thing. I don't show to other people my problems (but I write them down here if I manage to think through it). Is it.. healthy? Hahaha!
OMG THIS POST IS SO MESSY I DON'T THINK I MANAGED TO CLEAR MY HEAD
One more thing about myself! I take a lot after my father, I realized. Like him, I don't rely on others (especially emotionally), I'm impatient. But what sets me different from him is that, since I'm a girl, my.. motherly instincts kick in a lot.
OKAY I THINK I SOLVED SOMETHING!! About being mother-like!!
Is it because I like to take care of others? I do admit I treat my friends a bit like my children in the sense like I look out for them, make sure that they're alright... Stuff like that? Okay that's not a strong enough reason haha nvm I shall ask people tmr about why they think I'm motherlike.
Okay enough, I need to pack for school. Still haven't been in the study mood. But.. time is running out I realized haha so I better get back to study mode ASAP.
Alrighty. Good night!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Penning down thoughts..
Assalamualaikum!
Suddenly I have this overwhelming need to blog! The feeling just popped out of nowhere! HAHA! Actually, not nowhere lah, it came with a reason :p Anyway I'm at home today since my GSM is over and I don't have any classes today. It's a Friday and I'm at home! HAHA I was so happy that I got to sleep in this morning.
Okay back to issue. I was researching about topics to be used for Research Methods module when my lecturer SMS-ed me, asking if so far I was comfortable with what she has been teaching under the Working with Special needs and disabilities module.. And I was like, AH did she notice my sullen-ness during sharing session the previous day? Cos I was in a super sullen mood when we were sharing about different perceptions people would have towards people with special needs. I was okay up till people started mentioning that some would bully, ignore people with special needs, some parents would think that it's a waste of money... Then I swear I got teary-eyed thinking about my brother and his future.. I kept thinking like, you shouldn't do that.. You shouldn't think like that... They're special in their own way.. And I got all teary eyed but I fought the tears lah of course, it'd be an awkward situation if I suddenly burst out crying in the middle of class... I even felt like fighting back but in the end I controlled myself and instead told the person to say it in a more sensitive manner, IDK if she caught it lah but I was.. affected I guess.
Then my lecturer called me over the phone, asking if I was comfortable in sharing some experiences and whatnot in the next lecture, which was going to be about Autism and I agreed since I really wanted people to know about my experiences and also more about ASD. I shall talk to my mum about it and ask her about some stuff that I can show, and maybe even record snippets of Nazhir talking or what.
Something that I particularly want to stress on is that... My brother is the light of our lives. He makes us so happy with his antics and even though sometimes we can be so frustrated with him, so burdened by the sacrifices that we need to do for him.. We know that we're all that he's got. If not for us, his family, who else can take care of him? Who else can love him as much as we do? Who else can put the disabled part of him away and accept him as who he is?
I will stop here though, since I don't want to spoil my sharing next week :p Hehe but that's just the essence of the message that I'll bring out during the sharing. Just wanted to.. write it down here.
Just a short entry :) School has been doing fine, shall catch up on my studies today. Bye!
Suddenly I have this overwhelming need to blog! The feeling just popped out of nowhere! HAHA! Actually, not nowhere lah, it came with a reason :p Anyway I'm at home today since my GSM is over and I don't have any classes today. It's a Friday and I'm at home! HAHA I was so happy that I got to sleep in this morning.
Okay back to issue. I was researching about topics to be used for Research Methods module when my lecturer SMS-ed me, asking if so far I was comfortable with what she has been teaching under the Working with Special needs and disabilities module.. And I was like, AH did she notice my sullen-ness during sharing session the previous day? Cos I was in a super sullen mood when we were sharing about different perceptions people would have towards people with special needs. I was okay up till people started mentioning that some would bully, ignore people with special needs, some parents would think that it's a waste of money... Then I swear I got teary-eyed thinking about my brother and his future.. I kept thinking like, you shouldn't do that.. You shouldn't think like that... They're special in their own way.. And I got all teary eyed but I fought the tears lah of course, it'd be an awkward situation if I suddenly burst out crying in the middle of class... I even felt like fighting back but in the end I controlled myself and instead told the person to say it in a more sensitive manner, IDK if she caught it lah but I was.. affected I guess.
Then my lecturer called me over the phone, asking if I was comfortable in sharing some experiences and whatnot in the next lecture, which was going to be about Autism and I agreed since I really wanted people to know about my experiences and also more about ASD. I shall talk to my mum about it and ask her about some stuff that I can show, and maybe even record snippets of Nazhir talking or what.
Something that I particularly want to stress on is that... My brother is the light of our lives. He makes us so happy with his antics and even though sometimes we can be so frustrated with him, so burdened by the sacrifices that we need to do for him.. We know that we're all that he's got. If not for us, his family, who else can take care of him? Who else can love him as much as we do? Who else can put the disabled part of him away and accept him as who he is?
I will stop here though, since I don't want to spoil my sharing next week :p Hehe but that's just the essence of the message that I'll bring out during the sharing. Just wanted to.. write it down here.
Just a short entry :) School has been doing fine, shall catch up on my studies today. Bye!
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