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You know what? Sometimes, life just really really sucks beyond belief. Life is not life when at one point every single thing that matters is against you and you can't help but feel so depressed that you just want to stop trying all together.

But life goes on doesn't it? Even though sometimes you don't want it to because it hurts, so much, to try to move on and live another day.

I think I've lost half my soul after all this. I don't feel like I'm me anymore. So depressed and pathetic. No longer optimistic and trying my best. All of it down the drain, sayonara, goodbye. Because it doesn't matter anymore. Because I feel like this is my limit- the limit to what I can do. No matter how much I try, no matter how much I force myself to be better, 여기서 끝이다. 여기밖에 못할것 같아.

It's so tiring, draining to work hard only to realize that this is all that you could do. Even if I worked my ass off, my capabilities end here.

Yeah, I've told people about what I've been feeling lately and they've given advices, good advices but idk, it just doesn't work anymore. I'm in a horrible slump right now. Nothing works. Nothing makes me happy like before (okay I lied, I still adore U-kiss and they've got this thing for making me happy. But others don't. Hell, even TVXQ's comeback news didn't lift my mood and I AM A CASSIOPEIA OKAY. But more on the JYJ side roflmao what, the most good-looking, the best singer and the best actor all transferred to JYJ okay, my heart was shaken! Anyways, #aktf, JYJ is still TVXQ so there's that) and yeah. Nothing works. I keep wanting to give up. Coop myself up in a room and watch Psych all day.

Oh god, since when did I become so pessimistic?

Oh yeah. Since then.