Friendship

Assalamualaikum!

It's Monday and as you all know, I have no school on Monday! HEHEHE anyway I'm currently watching an anime which I am trying to pry myself away from at times so I won't finish it too early. Also to train myself to discontinue this unhealthy practice of watching too much anime since school has started and I need to get back to my usual regime of daily revision. I can't seem to find the motivation to revise nowadays since all that's on my mind is an unfinished anime and the dying curiousity to find out what is going to happen.

There's something that I've been meaning to touch on on my blog, which is about friendship. I've been brooding about 'friendship' a lot, ever since Poly started. The transition between Secondary School and Polytechnic/other tertiary education is crucial, as in it's the period where you're bound to lose/gain a lot of old/new friends. I reckon many will have to go through this phase and it's not an easy one.

What do you define friends as? I guess it differs for everyone, ranging from just someone you know, to someone who has known you for, say, the whole of Secondary school. And recently, someone whom you've met through facebook mutual friends.

In my opinion, there's a distinct line between acquaintanceship and friendship. Of course, people whom  you've gotten to know through facebook, and maybe seniors and juniors that you know of but don't really talk to, or just people whom you know and only talk to occasionally are categorized as acquaintances. Friends, on the other hand, I categorize (may I emphasize, "I" as in this is totally my opinion and not some proven facts) as those whom I feel like there's no wall separating me and that person. When the wall is there, you don't feel comfortable yet sharing with the person about your true opinions on things, and still feel somewhat fake when communicating with the person because you feel that the person may judge you or ostracize you if you say what you really want to say. Basically, in front of a friend, you are comfortable to be who you are.

Being a friend has its responsibilities, as crazy as it may seem. You have the responsibility to care for the friend, keep their secrets, support them etc. And this is where issues may arise, when people have too much expectations out of their friends. They expect them to be there for them ALL THE TIME, expect them to notice when they feel down and expect them to be by their side every time they have problems, expect them to support you with your every decision etc.

But the thing is, people, FRIENDS ARE HUMANS TOO. They make mistakes, they're not mind readers who can detect all your negative emotions, they're not your teddy bear that can soothe you every time you're down, they're not your slaves that will come to you every time you call for them, they're not followers who will support your every decision  no matter how right or wrong they are. You can't assume all these things and be upset whenever they are not up to your expectations and accuse them of not being a good enough friend!

Besides their responsibilities as your friend, they have other responsibilities too, to their family, other friends, studies, CCAs, whatever! You can't lock them up in an invisible room claiming them to be yours forever.

Sometimes, you have to give in to your friends, because the bond and friendship that you have with the person is far more important than some meagre problem or fight that you had with the friend. It's a give and take situation. And in the case of having a friend who doesn't support you in your decision, sometimes who have to throw away all the ego and pride that you have to actually analyze what your friend is saying and really take it into consideration. Considering that the person is your friend, they will know what's best for you. So just, for once, open up your heart and mind to LISTEN. Not hear, LISTEN.

And rest be assured, if the person really considers you as a friend, they will do everything in their power for it to remain that way. So don't worry, and TRUST THE FRIEND. If the person is meant to be your friend, then she'll make an effort to stay.

Okay, moving on, there's something else that I want to touch on. I read about it somewhere (slipped my mind, where I read it. Getting old /sigh) that God tells us to love everyone. He did not say to love everyone BUT the non-believers, gangsters, sinners, criminals etc. It doesn't mean that just because they have done a mistake that everyone knows of,  they don't deserve our love and care. As long as they're alive, they still have the opportunity to repent and it's up to us to lead them to the right road. So we cannot judge them and say that we're better than them. By not exposing our wrongdoings, God has given us his mercy. Imagine if everyone knew about ALL your wrongdoings? Those criminals, gangsters are actually LUCKY that their wrongdoings are known to other people, in the sense that they are atoning to their sins while they're still alive, instead of receiving the punishment later in akhirat which will be much worse.

Those words are what that's been motivating me to continue in this line of Social Work actually. Giving others a chance, and helping them. Although sometimes I do wonder to what extent should we offer up our help? To what extent should we trust them but at the same time be cautious? Some things to think about, yeah. Because in the case of my husband leaving me, I don't think I'll give the guy a second chance HAHAHA. Human beings are always scared of getting hurt again. Once bitten, twice shy.

Ahh, thinking deeply about stuff like this is good. Haha definitely beats all those random spazz blog posts right? Hehehehehehe. Proves that I'm not so childish okay, despite still watching animes and all.

Wrecking my brain for anything else that I want to touch on..... But nothing comes up. I guess this marks the end of this post. I shall go looking for blogskins that have bigger fonts. Even for me, it's painful to read my own blog haha the font is tiny! And I'm already blind enough as it is.

Alright, bye bye! Ciao!