I was this close to doing something stupid, really. I was halfway through, even. And as a result, my hands and knees are bruised. Old habits die hard. I hope my head isn't bruised too. Because I might have done something to it.. Okay I did do something to it. But I feel fine now.
Physically anyway. Emotionally.. I'm still trying. It's a pity I can't pray or read the Quran because it's that time of the month or I'd feel much better but.. hah.
I guess my expectations of everything are too.. high I guess. Maybe I shouldn't expect anything out of anyone at all. So that I won't feel this shitty when my expectations and reality don't match. But I have to have some sort of vague impression of what a figurative person is expected to be like right? Or not? I don't know.
Sometimes I wish someone would knock me down with a car and then I'll lose all my memories so that I can have a chance to restart my life. No wait, sometimes I feel like standing in front of a moving car to do that. But I'll just have to pick myself up. And push myself forward. On my own two feet.
I'm perservering. And I hope, in the future, I'll be able to look back and say that I perservered. It'll take a lot out of me to be patient and endure all these shit but I really hope I'll have the strength to pick myself up and move on.
& For the first time I'll end a post with a greeting!
ASSALAMUALAIKUM RAMADHAN!
Bulan dimana nafas kita menjadi Tasbih, Tidur kita menjadi Ibadah, Amal kita Diterima dan Do'a kita di Ijabah.
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